The holiday season can be one of the most difficult times of year for those who are grieving. The cultural emphasis on joy, togetherness, and celebration can feel profoundly at odds with the reality of loss. Yet with thoughtful planning and self-compassion, it is possible to navigate the holidays while honouring your grief.
Acknowledge the Difficulty
The first step is to acknowledge, without apology, that the holidays will be hard. You do not need to pretend to feel festive. Giving yourself permission to grieve during the holidays — rather than forcing yourself to perform happiness — is an act of self-compassion.
Plan Ahead
Decide in advance how you want to spend the holidays. Consider which traditions you want to maintain, which you want to modify, and which you may need to skip this year. Having a plan reduces the anxiety of uncertainty and gives you a sense of agency.
Create Space for Your Loved One
Many families find comfort in creating a symbolic space for the person who has died — an empty chair at the table, a candle lit in their honour, a donation to their favourite charity in lieu of gifts. These gestures acknowledge the absence while keeping the presence alive.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel
You may feel sad, angry, or simply numb during holiday gatherings. You may also feel moments of genuine joy — and then feel guilty for feeling joy. Both experiences are valid. Grief does not require constant sadness, and joy does not mean you have forgotten your loved one.
Reach Out for Support
If the holidays feel unmanageable, reach out to a grief counsellor, a support group, or a trusted friend. You do not have to navigate this season alone.